Beautiful pain

There is beauty in this pain
the underlying shape
in a shapeless sandpit
where things are easily lost
and never found
unlike the tiny pieces of sand dust
that remain with you for decades
until you wash them a thousand times
inside and out
with streams of tears
and oceans of water running in the shower
with you clenching your knees with your hands around them
in that eternal cry for the unconditional embrace
that you were promised when you were sliding
through the birth canal of your mother
your future protector
waiting for an embrace that never came
what came eventually was the abrupt anger
fury with four eyes and seven hands
one for each day of the week
two of which you used to build the walls around you
three to keep your eyes, ears and mouth closed
so no one can hear your screams
one to keep grabbing your heart
in this ultimate fight of grasp it to death
and pump it back to life
and one
one hand with which you pull through
to the people that found beauty in your pain
that found love within you
and for you
that one hand is what keeps you alive
throughout these years
until the many hands that now wish to hug you
come close enough to warm the coldness of your soul
close enough for the ice to melt
for the stone dry sand to moisten
and go back to its original form
for the walls to come down
the walls that were never yours
for as much pain these walls keep out
the more love they keep in
love that was always meant to be shared
because you came to this world
baby girl
to lighten it
to overflow with kindness and compassion
and it is better to explode with pain
than to implode with unused love
here you are
I see you
I feel you
I love you
you are safe

photo by @flowsoftly

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